"For Your Edification"

(A poem inspired by Kami Lewis Levin)

I prefer to be called
"knickers;"
though you
insist on
using that more
American
term -- "panties."

Your moist
farts
do nothing
to
quench
the thirst of my
parched
soul.

Oh, and by the way,
contrary to
what
you think --
your aureolas,
they're not
"all that."
In fact, they
suck.

Before anyone goes getting any crazy ideas, this poem was written in response to a tweet of Kami's in which she listed seven of her least favorite words of all time. I told her I wanted to write a poem incorporating all the words called "For Kami," and she said "PLEASE write that poem."

So I did.

Little did I know it would be from the point of view of a pair of women's underwear...