When You Read This Blog: A Letter to My Sons

Dear Jackson and Diego:

Someday your mother will sit you down with all these random writings, some of them about you, some of them not, and you'll be asked to read them, think about them, and decide what they mean to you. It's only fair then that I should provide the following disclaimer as a tool that may (or may not) aid you in your attempts to make sense of my intentions:

First, and most importantly, let me tell you both that I love you more than I ever thought I'd be able to love anything or anyone (which is saying a lot, because your grandfather, my dad, did give me -- as I've mentioned repeatedly in these posts -- a tremendous capacity to love). You have always meant, and will always mean, the world to me. I hope you know that by now.

As you will learn for yourselves, however, being a father is no joke. It's really, really hard. As a dad, you constantly question yourself: Am I doing this right? Am I being fair? Am I being the model of the kind of person I'd like my children to be?

My hope is that in spite of all we've surely been through together by the time you're reading this, you're able to think of these times we've shared fondly, much in the way I think of my own father, even as I'm writing this, more than eleven years after his passing. I hope my parenting has helped you along the way up to this point, and I hope I've given you enough of everything you need.

As for the "navel gazing" in general, (the stuff that's not about you) let me tell you a story. One day, back when I was in college, I was hanging out with Mignon and her then-boyfriend. I was on a navel-gazing roll. "Did you ever wonder why...this?" "Have you ever stopped to wonder why...that?"

Finally, Mignon's boyfriend interrupted me, and said, "Jeez, Dan. Do ever wonder who wonders about all that? Let's just eat some pizza."

So my message to you is this: Don't stop wondering about things, even if people tell you to shut up. Wondering is what takes life from being bearable to being an adventure. Don't settle for bearable.

I don't want to keep you too long from whatever it is you're doing that makes you feel strong and passionate about your lives. I'm sure it's amazing stuff, because you're both amazing young men.

I love you, and don't forget I'm with you always.

Dad