Mommy Needs a "Girl Fix"

When my good friend, educator Jason Marrero, came to visit us from New York last September, he had his six year old daughter, Samara, in tow. We had a great time all around; Jason and I got to catch up, and the kids enjoyed each other. We dropped Samara off with the kids for gymnastics one evening, and Jason and I got to enjoy an authentic Texas high school football game. And the six of us had a good hike on the trails along Lady Bird Lake. A good time was had by all.

Samara did a great job being away from her mom for the first time. She was generally upbeat and positive. The two talked on the phone daily. It was a treat for me to see my friend in his fatherly role. He handled it pretty well, until the issue of Samara's hair came up.

"Oh God," he said, preparing himself for the worst. He took Samara into the bathroom and the screaming ensued.

On the second morning, as Samara's anxiety began mounting, Jason explained to us that the screaming was a daily ritual. She didn't care for having her hair brushed, especially not by Daddy. "But if Lisa sees the pictures we take and Sam's hair isn't combed, I'll be in a world of shit."

"I remember that," Jeanette said, smiling at Samara. "No fun, right?"

Samara frowned and shook her head.

"Would you like me to try?" she asked. Sammy nodded, still pouting. Gently squeezing clumps of hair, Jeanette was careful to brush out the tangles at the ends of each handful, before taking on longer bits. Before too long, the brush was making its way easily down Sammy's scalp in smooth, even strokes. Not only was Samara's anxious expression gone, but it was replaced by a beatific, far-away smile. This cemented my wife's bond with my friend's daughter. Each night, Sammy demanded a special hug from Jeanette, and she gave it happily.

I realized, looking at my wife's own expression as she worked on the little girl's hair, that she too wore a contented smile. Poor Jeanette is surrounded constantly by male energy. Having this young girl in our home for a few days, needing her hair combed, was a treat for her. The realization made me think immediately of my own mother, who was also in charge of two boys. When I started dating my high school girlfriend, Maria, I would take her home on occasion, in the hopes that we could sneak past my mother and do some making out up in my room. Unfortunately for me, my mother and Maria hit it off and became fast friends, so that every time I brought her home, my mother would grab her away from me, and tell me to "go watch baseball with your brother," or something to that effect. (Maria told me, years later, that these meetings were important in her development as a young woman. My mother became a kind of mentor figure to her, and I'm happy to know this, painful though it was for me at the time.)

It will be interesting to see whether Jeanette responds to my sons' future girlfriends in this way. Like Maria, Samara Marrero is a special person, and that quality will have something to do with it, I'm sure. But it can't be easy for a woman to be in the exclusive company of males. Getting a "girl fix" now and then must be extremely refreshing.