The Crossword Connection

I've come to enjoy Father's Day in the ten years it has pertained specifically to me.  My wife does her best to spoil me (though, to be honest, I feel spoiled on most days), and this year was no different.  The kids always scrawl me out a couple of loving cards, and I get one big, pampering gift, and one small, tongue-in-cheek gift.

This year it was a 90-minute massage and a nose hair trimmer, respectively.  In addition, however, Jeanette got me The New York Times Will Shortz Presents Every Day with Crosswords: 365 Days of Easy to Hard Puzzles.   She got me this particular gift, because she remembers a time, early in our relationship, where crossword puzzles, from the New York Times could often be found on the various night-stands and coffee tables of our world.

My wife also knows that crossword puzzles -- like chess, which I've described in a previous post -- hold a special place in my family history, because my father was a prodigious puzzler himself.  In fact, when I picture him, I see him sitting in a golden yellow upholstered easy chair, with the Times on a clipboard in one hand, and a pen (always a pen and NEVER a pencil, which I still adhere to) in the other, his scotch and water sweating in a glass on the side table.

He's looking over his reading glasses when I picture him this way, smiling, the lines above his cheekbones deepening, as they always did.  He'd probably rather be working on the puzzle than entertaining whatever it is I've interrupted him for, but he rarely, if ever, expressed any exasperation about having to put the clipboard down in his lap to address my issue.

I can't remember whether or not I was resentful of the time my dad spent with his crossword puzzles.  To be fair, he was quick -- much quicker than I -- in solving them, so that time was probably negligible.  Because I myself enjoy puzzling now, I of course get that this was his private time when he could tune us and our constant squabbles out and just enjoy his puzzle.  (Not to mention his cocktail.)  Like Hanno, I am a hard-working father of two energetic and mostly happy boys, doing my best to help them along.  I now understand that means that my father, like me, and like every parent who fits the description, actually worked two jobs, and the one for which he got paid was definitely the easier of the two.

So this break, this brief respite or reprieve from the job of being a parent, is something my father appreciated deeply.  I appreciate it, too, and this gift from my wife, shows her appreciation of it, as well.  For this I thank her, more, probably, than she'll ever know.

The author getting ready to delve into a morning crossword.

The Case for Fathers Day: My Annual, 24-Hour Rise to the Throne

Father’s Day was a good one, with the kind of pampering and relaxation I have come to look forward to at this stage of the game. Amazing to think that I’ve now played the role for over eight years. As my sister says, I got to “practice” on Levi for a few years before that, when they moved to Brooklyn, and she’s right, to a point. I did get to try out my material, see what got laughs and what didn’t. I got to do the swagger thing. Most importantly, I had to try and understand what the world looks like to a young boy, and what a child needs from the adults around him.

It’s no easy task doing this day in and day out, year after year, which is why I believe it is entirely appropriate that there be a day dedicated each year to celebrating the fathers. Let time stop for us dads once a year, I say. Why not?

Yesterday started the way it was meant to. Diego pushed open the door at around 8 or so with a plate of food – some waffles, eggs and fruit, arranged nicely. As a treat, Jeanette prepared cafe con leche, heavy on the milk and sugar, the way I love -- and, for dietary reasons, no longer take -- my morning coffee. Jackson followed with a lovely card the three of them had made with the heading, “My Favorite Thing About Daddy…” with their answers scattered about in vivid crayon. I can't decide if my favorite answer is "He feeds us" or "He likes Kings of Leon." Jeanette even sketched a lovely portrait of me, looking dapper in a yellow shirt and green tie, and I thanked her, not only for making me skinny, but giving me hair to boot. She has me asking, "Honey, have you seen my wallet." (I have no idea what that's all about. You'll have to ask her...)

We hustled into the car later, so that I could make my 11:30 massage appointment. The therapist did a good job, but having my face – full of sinus infection – shoved down onto the face cushion was a distraction and made it impossible for me to reach my usual level of relaxation I attain during a massage. (Snoring and drooling.)

Afterwards, we had brunch at a place we’d never been – a solid Tex-Mex joint called Santa Rita’s. It was a moment of appreciation for me: unlike New York, here one can just walk into a brunch on a holiday (a “second-tier” holiday, granted, but still) in a good restaurant and be seated immediately. And with parking! We discover new places all the time, and continue to be pleased by the vast majority of them.

Later we went over to look after our friends’ four kids, so that they could go out for dinner. I was mostly a spectator, due to my Seasonal Immunity, so I watched Rory McIlroy storm to victory in the U.S. Open, occasionally stepping in to lend a hand. But the kids were generally easy, and a good time was, as they say, had by all.

We finished off the day on our couch, watching the Coen Brothers’ re-make of True Grit, which was brilliant. I always love the feel of their films and this didn’t disappoint. Jeff Bridges gives a raw, muscular performance in his re-imagination of what had been a John Wayne icon. My hat’s off to him. Such a perfect ending to a day fit for a king.

Today, I descended back down to my rightful place in the real world. It was sweet while it lasted, and I look forward to the next one. In all seriousness, I'm humbled by the love I receive from the beautiful individuals I'm blessed to call my family, and I thank them, not only for a spectacular day, but for the other 364 of them each year, as well.