The first of these updates came to me on March 10, so if I consider that my "Day One," today is Day 129 of thinking seriously about this virus. In fact, the thinking I've done today is the most serious I've done so far. This morning, after my usual cup of black coffee, I began being bothered by a pain in my left side. It intensified and became a full-on cramp, and just as quickly, and out of nowhere, I was kneeling in my bathroom, heaving the few contents of my stomach into the toilet. J. had to leave for work -- a temp job as a bilingual social worker helping refer people for COVID services -- and suggested I try a bath with Epsom salts.
I took her advice, but found no relief. When she called to check in, the cramps were even worse.
"Get dressed," she said. "I'll find out where you can get tested."
I had sweated through the t-shirt I'd put on after my bath, and the thought that this could be the coronavirus sent me into a bona fide panic.
"Please don't let me have it, please don't let me have it, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die."
I muttered this mantra quietly but aloud, in the privacy of my bathroom.
Then I remembered my children. And I became strong. For them. I refused to allow my fear to become theirs, so I calmed my breathing and told my older son Diego I was going for a quick checkup and that I'd be right back.
I got the nasal test -- a very long swab sent in through the nostril and down the passage and held there for about ten seconds.
And now I wait three to five days for my result. I'm feeling much better and still have no fever; however I've moved into my home office, where I'll be in isolation, at least until we get the news, assuming it comes up negative. Obviously, if it's positive, my isolation will continue for the prescribed 14 days.
I'm confident I don't have the virus, and am staying optimistic, while staying isolated.
My fingers are crossed, my spirits are high, and I'll keep everyone posted....
 |
| The author, in Solitary, Day One |
No comments:
Post a Comment