Thursday, September 15, 2011

A Father's Fear of Bullying

There was a couple speaking on the morning news today about their fifteen-year-old son who was bullied to the point of suicide. It's a terrifying thought, and I fear for my own children in their lives away from me. I'm not naive; I know I cannot protect them from all the pain and suffering that will befall them in the course of their lives. I can only try my best to watch for the signs of anguish my boys may or may not wear on their faces, or suggest with their body language, in the event they are being mistreated. They have to be convinced in their own hearts that they are worthy of respect and that no one has the right to abuse them in any way.

I'm less concerned about Jackson. Something tells me his out-sized personality and athletic ability will keep the wolves away from his door. If anything, his fascination with professional wrestling gives me cause for concern, and I worry he will try to put his hands on other kids, in the name of "fun."

Diego is such a kind, gentle soul and my fear is that his is the type of personality that other children target. He's already been the victim of an alleged bullying incident, in which he was coerced to do something that put him at the brunt of a cruel, if ridiculous, joke. J. and I took the opportunity to treat it as a "teachable moment," and my hope is that he will not allow himself to be a "victim," in any form, ever again.

If, however, some other child or children decide to attack him, I want him always to be able to come to me and tell me, so that his feelings don't bottle up and tear at his soul, the way they obviously do for so many children who make the ultimate decision to escape. This must never happen, because if it did, I can't imagine a scenario in which I'd be able to recover from it.

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